Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Terrible idea I love it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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