who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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