Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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