I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
