I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
