I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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