wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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