haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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