I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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