I intend to get homeless drunk
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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