Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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