Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
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I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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