Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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