so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
