Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
