OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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