when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
