he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
