there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
