she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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