I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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