Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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