I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
