he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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