chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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