You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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