Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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