i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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