they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
