just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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