I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
