are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
