Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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