Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We have started to decorate penises.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize