Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
