some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
