also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Those nachos came to me in a dream
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
