How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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