You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
