We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize