you guys were way drunker than both of me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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