I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
