my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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