I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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