I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
