My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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