Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
