one two three fourrrrnication!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
