It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
