Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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