Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
false alarm, still single
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