Don't make out with my wife yet
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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