so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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