the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
