Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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