I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
