Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
