spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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