I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
