Kiss
Puke
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
